Slowly Phasing Out While Continue Bottoming

As a Fleetwood Mac's song goes: Players only love you when they are playing.

E has not responded my text from yesterday. I wonder if I would ever hear from him again. E has the beard and hairy body that I find extremely sexy. My cock gets hard just by touching his hairy chest. In the multiple times we slept together, he always sucked my cock to edge me to the limit before he jerked me off.

"I want to..." That's what he said to me when I asked him why he wants to suck me.

I  find that strange because he does not let me suck him. He said it's messy and yucky.  "Yucky?" I wondered in my mind but didn't think further. I did consider the possibility that he might be carry diseases or even HIV+. But since all we did was kissing, dry fucking and jerking each other off, I didn't think anything bad could happen.  I do (did?) enjoy kissing him. He even said that he had never kissed anybody like we did.  I found that hard to believe and yet I was foolish enough to take his word.

From the very beginning I've always had this feeling that he's a player. He never fucked me. Although one time when he tried to finger me and realized that I was really tight, he said, "I'm gonna hurt you.." hinting that his cock is quite big. Well, he never got to fuck me and I somehow knew that was never gonna happen anyway.

He texted me sexy, luring messages alone with shirtless selfie and pics of himself in underpants. For a while he even seemed smitten with me. And all of a sudden he vanished and appeared to loose interest totally.

I'm certainly not going to "beg" him to answer me. I think I'd just let it go. If one day he resurfaced, I'd take a deep breath and decide what I should do. He might still be able to charm me back to his hairy arms, I would know better that he is just a player.

Besides, I still have my fuck buddy M, who to my surprise sent me a picture of his impressive manhood last week. Unfortunately I was on my way to the city and couldn't meet him on his day off. It's been more than a month since I last saw him. I need his hard stiff cock deep inside me. I want to kiss him, taste him, ride him like there's no tomorrow.  M knows his tool and knows how to use it well. He kisses me, teases me, rims me and is patient to open up my tight hole with his wet hungry tongue. He knows it when I'm ready. He will then force his big cock, knowing that I'd enjoy the pain, slowly down my hole. He will change positions, penetrate me deeper and deeper, with gentle touches caressing my sweaty body. He will increase his speed, his stiff cock thrusts in and out of me, and collapses on top of me when he dump his hot juice inside me. Sometimes after he recovers a bit, he'd tell me to jerk myself off on top of his with his cock still rock hard in my ass. "Good boy, JJ. Good boy.." he'd say.

I know that one day M will also be unavailable. He might be involved in a steady relationship. He might move away or I might move away, etc. All good things come to and an. But meanwhile, I'll let him fuck me. I want him to fuck me. I want as many hot loads of his as I can get. Did I ever mention that he is a hairy Italian? Come to think of it, why would I need E if I still have M? For varieties I suppose..

Oh, and there's a hairy daddy who wants to give me a massage this coming Friday. Let's see how that goes..

But seriously, I'm at the point that I believe it's time to slow down and stop it all one day. I have a partner who loves me, who adores me and never intentionally hurts me. I should be grateful to have him in my life and be loyal to him. There's just too many players out there who will only think of you when they want to play. I've always tried to maintain certain regular, decent, friendship-like relationships with the men I meet. Somehow it's usually not what they are looking for. Over the years my skin has thicken. But finding out that these men basically don't want to have anything to do with me other than having sex still makes me feeling hurt.  And yet I keep giving myself these self inflicted wounds.

I know that day will come eventually. Hopefully before my double life got exposed. Hopefully before my partner found out that I've been cheating on him for so long. Hopefully before I contracted any disease. Hopefully before it's all too late and there's no return.

M, My Fuck Buddy or Maybe More

 "I'm yours.." I said to him.

M was on top of me, his cock thrusting in and out slowly. He never forgets to kiss me whenever there's a chance. I like him for that. He's not just fucking me; he is making love with me.

Before he penetrated me, he sucked and licked my cock and balls. His goatee rubbed again my sensitive skin when he rimmed my ass. It always made me moan. Tonight he face-fucked me again and I managed to take his long hard cock down my throat. I lied on my back with my head on the edge of the bed. He stood right above my head with his stiff cock hanging a few inches from my mouth. I knew what he wanted and I opened my mouth and let his pre-cum dripping cock enter my warm mouth. I took it in as deep as I could. I could taste his salty pre-cum. He moved my hands to his nipples. I squeezed them hard as he forced his cock deeper in my throat. He leaned forward and started to suck my cock, which at the same time his cock gagged me and stayed in my throat. It was the deepest I have ever had a cock down my throat. Even though it gagged me and I couldn't breath, I loved the experience. I wish M will do that more often and longer..

M entered me from behind as I was on my all four. He fucked me slowly to start and gave me time to get used to his massive manhood. I loved how he tried to kiss me every chance he could get. He laid his hairy chest on my bare back and kissed my left cheek. I turned my face, our mouth met and we kissed.. With his hard cock in my ass, his kiss made me even more horny.

Tonight M tried a new technic with me by placing a pillow under my lower back. He was on his knees and I was on my back with my butt mounted to his crotch. His cock penetrated me even deeper in this position. My hands were exploring, touching his solid body. I caressed his hairy stomach and sometimes I held his ass and pulled his body closer to mine. I wanted his rock hard cock deep inside me for as long as possible.

"You are beautiful, J.." he looked into my eyes while his cock moving in and out of my tight ass.

"I'm yours.." I said to him. And I meant it. He can have me whenever he desires..

"Thank you.." he replied with a touch of proud smile on his face.

He removed my socks, held my feet in his hands. He looked at me briefly as if to get my permission. I didn't reject, he proceed to put my toe into his mouth. His cock stiffened more in my ass. I never understood how it could turn certain people on, but in that moment I actually felt the connection..

There's nowhere else I'd want him to cum. When his breath became short, his face started to harden, I knew I soon would have his cum. He let out a long breath when he dumped his load in me. I was content and grateful that I met him.

He once said to me, "never knew you could have this so close to home, did you?"

I answered with a smile, only wishing I'd had met him earlier.. Much much earlier..

Keep getting fucked or not?

Your opinion appreciated:

I’ve been seeing this hairy fuck buddy for 5, 6 times in the past three months. At first he would contact me on his own. But recently it’s always I that had to get in touch first and we would fuck at his place. We always had a great time. He loves fucking me and he breeds me every time. He is always very passionate, very oral, very dominant in bed.

Here is something that bothers me: when I email him or text him for reasons other than hooking up, he usually doesn’t respond. (I know he has a boyfriend.) I feel I’m always the one asking to meet..

Should I keep contacting him when I need to get bred or should I start looking for somebody else?

First dream in 2014

Woke up in the bedroom on the first day of 2014 with a hard on.

I was dreaming and still remember vividly. Couldn't really tell who this man was. All I know could see was his scruffy face. We meet coincidently at a place that appeared to be like CVS or Duane Reade. The moment we looked straight into each others' eyes, we kissed as if we haven't seen each other for years.  Didn't care the look and stare from surrounding people, we kissed, sucked on each other's lips and tongue, my hands held, touched, explored his upper body.

Suddenly he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down to the floor. I wasn't wearing underpants and my cock was already pointing and dripping pre-cum. He went down on me and I simply moaned. People were now gathering and watching us. But we didn't seem to pay any attention. He sucked and licked my cock and balls and it edged me to exploding point. I didn't want to cum so fast, so I pulled him up and kissed him some more before I took off this t-shirt.

Next thing I know we were totally naked, lying on the floor on the aisle with our bodies wrapped around each others.  I had this craving for the taste of his mushroom-headed cock. I moved slowly down, kissed and licked this face, his neck, his hairy chest, bite a little on his left nipple, down the happy trail and finally had his cock in my mouth. He seemed to understand what I wanted and got up to sit on my chest before he put this cock back in my mouth. I looked into his eyes most of the time while I was sucking and tasting his manhood. I cupped his firm ass with my hands, pushing his stiff cock further, deeper into my throat..

I kept staring into his eyes and watching him enjoying the moment. Finally he saw the twinkle in my eyes and realized my desire. He smiled, trap my hair telling me to continue. Not too long after, he let out a breath, his body harden a little, and I felt his hot load landed at the back of my tongue. I kept swallowing, sucking all that I could get from his fat, tasty cock..

I woke up with that image in my head, my cock was so hard that it was almost hurting..

So what does it all mean that I had such a dream on the very first day of 2014?

10 Minutes Affair

The next day after I wrote my previous post, I did give this divorced hairy daddy a surprise visit.  I only had a very short window of opportunity but I went to his hotel room anyway without even calling him.  I knocked the door and he opened the door after about 30 seconds.  Apparently he was sleeping naked and he only covered his private part with a towel when he let me in.

"Don't worry I'll cover myself with a towel. I didn't know you were coming." he smiled warmly.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you first..  and..  I only have about 10 minutes..." I said, not sure why I made this bold move and came here.

He sat down on the edge of the bed with his towel wrapped around his waist and padded on the space next to him.  I sat down right beside him with my arm almost touching his.

"So, am I okay?" asking for my approval.

I nervously smiled and said, "you're more than okay.."

Our eyes met, he leaned over and wanted to kiss me. I hesitated but still let him approach. He kissed me while he unbotton my shirt. Gentle kisses at first, he suddenly throwed away his towel, revealing his manhood, and continued kissing me. Now our breath became heavy and our kisses passionate.

Finally we were both naked. Hairy daddy pushed me to the bed and he sat on me right below my cock. Our cocks were both hard now. Compared with mine, he's got a huge stiff cock. He wanted to get down on me, but I told him not to.

"I've got a few more minutes..  Let's not start.."

He understood and lied on top of me, sealed my mouth with his. We kissed hard, exploring each other with our tongues, tasting each other. I touched his hairy body, squeezed his hairy butt.  He was everything that I wanted, and yet I couldn't have him..

His cock was robbing mine, and his hairy chest on my bare smooth chest. He held my head while he deep kissed me  And I sucked on his tongue as if it were his cock.

Realizing that I had ran out of time, I got up to put on my clothes.

"I'm sorry I have to go now.."

He sat up, his cock slowly soften while he watched me get dressed.

"Thanks for stopping by.  It was nice.  I hope to see you again." he got out of the bed and said to me.

"I want to see you again." he kissed me once again before he opened the door for me.

"I can't promise. But I will try. Bye.." That's all I said before I stepped out of the door.