The Sub in Me

Just received an email to confirm tomorrow's meeting with a Master that potentially would use and torture me with his Dom buddy in a loft in midtown.

Last time I was tied up, gagged, and tortured was at least 6, 7 years ago.  I have posted several craigslist ads a few times after that but never did meet with any Master again.  Mainly because it's not easy for me to trust somebody enough to surrender myself. And another major reason is of course of my being in a long term relationship..  Recently I have been having this desire to be dominated, to feel helpless and used by a real Master.  So here I am again..

I believe this Master's name is Bill. From his email he seems to be very experienced.  He made it clear that he won't allow too much limits from my side. I, for the safety of my own and my partner's, told him my limits are no blood, no scat and no permanent marks.  When I asked if he plays safe, he responded, "safe anal but not for oral". It is the standard answer, but deep down, I wish to be fucked repeatedly, hard and raw..

In his email he said both he and his buddy are in early 50s, fit and attractive. I actually found some stuff about him online and even his Facebook profile. He is fairly good looking but he should be in his mid 60s if the information online is correct.  I don't really care if he is in his 50s or 60s.  It doesn't matter to me as long as he is an experienced Dom. There are just too many master-wanna-be everywhere and they don't really know what they are doing.

I also found out that he is married, lives in CT with his wife. Would that be appropriate to confront my possible Master about it?

One thing he requests is that my pubic area and ass have to be cleanly shaved. This will be a problem since I never do and my partner certainly will find it strange if I start doing so.  I told him if our meeting goes well, I'm willing to shave for our first session.

If it does happen, it will be the first time in a long time and the very first time that there will be two Masters working on me at the same time.  I imagine taking one Master's cock down my throat while the other fucking me with full force. And my hands will be tied up the whole time and won't have a chance to stop it. I will be just a piece of meat for their pleasure. They will use me however pleases them.

Why lie about his age? This bothers me a little bit. I guess I will decide if I want to proceed with this after tomorrow's meeting.  Wish me luck?

A Quick Load At The Stop &Shop

Guess who I bumped into yesterday? That's right, my hairy daddy neighbor. 

I was just going into the supermarket and he was leaving.  And he, was with his wife. Funny thing was that it was his wife said hi to me first with a big smile.  "Hey.. Have a good day!" I said and quickly went pass them. When I glanced at him, he had sort of an embarrassed smile on his face.

While I was walking through each aisles, I replayed all the things hairy daddy and I did in my head. Out of nowhere, this hairy daddy was standing right behind me.

"What are you doing here? Where is she?"

"She is in the car waiting for me.. Come to the men's room.." he said, looking nervous.

"What?"

Without answering me, he started walking towards to the men's room.  I stood there for a few seconds, considering and wondering, then I went to the men's room and spotted the stall he was in.

He opened the door and gestured me to go in.

"We don't have much time. I want your cum. Now." he said and pulled my pants down.

"But.."

"I want to taste your cum. I didn't get it last time. Remember?"

All I could think was this cannot be happening.  I've always thought that this could only happen in porn movie.  Hairy daddy wasted no time and put my cock in his mouth.  His warm mouth and unshaven face excited me.  My cock grew harder with each move he made.  He grabbed my cock and balls real hard as if wanting to squeeze my cum out. I could feel that I was sending precum into his warm, wet mouth.

"Give it to me, boy. I want it."

Wishing I could enjoy this much longer, I was also aware of that his wife was waiting.  He held my ass, pulled my cock in and out of his mouth fast.  We both tried very hard not to make much sound..

"I'm close..."

He looked at me and took my cock in as deep as he could, which made my cock stiff and throbbing.  I held his head with both of my hands and he knew I was almost there..

"Arrr..." I pressed his head tight to my crotch, gagging him with my stiff cock and the hot load shot right into his throat. He had to fight not to cough and still eagerly swallowing..

Looking dazed and not yet caught his breath, he suddenly stood up, gave me a kiss on my mouth and said, "I'll see you around.."

Then he was gone. Left me alone pants down in the men's room stall.

Then I realized I tasted my own cum in my mouth.  His clean face was the prove that he swallowed each drop of my cum.

Hairy Daddy Neighbor Paid Me a Visit

A few days later after I gave my hairy daddy neighbor the blowjob, he showed up at my front door. Surprised to see him, I nervously looked around to see if anybody was looking.

"Can I come in?" he said.

"Oh, I'm sorry..  Sure.." I stepped back, welcomed him in and I showed him the living room.

We sat on the couch with him on the far right and I on the far left. The tension was exciting and at the same time I was worried what's happening.

"I saw your partner just went out." he said.

"Yes, he has a meeting in the city..  So, what's up?"

Hairy daddy looked at me for a while, wanted to say something but didn't. Then he leaned towards me, both of his hands went under my tank top, touching my abs and chest. I put my hands on his hairy arms but didn't push him away.

"I'm here to take care of you.." then he pulled down my pants.

"But I haven't sho.... " Before I could even finish my sentence, he already put my cock in his mouth.  It felt so good, I held on to the couch. His unshaved face rubbed my balls and thighs while he continued sucking me, the sensation was incredible. Hairy daddy could see that I was enjoying it, he smiled at me and put his fingers into my mouth. I held his hand and sucked on his fingers lustfully.

After a while, hairy daddy kept my cock in his mouth, pulled away his wet fingers and forced one into my ass. I moaned and opened my eyes wide, wondered what he had in mind. He was still dressed. I used my foot touching his crotch and, no surprise, he was rock hard.

"Take off your clothes.." I whispered.

Hairy daddy looked up at me, seemed not sure if he should.

"Let me just take care of you today.." he said.

"I want to see your hairy body.." I started to undress him.  He was reluctant to remove his clothes, but lust still won after all.

He stood naked in front of me, stroking his stiff cock slowly while his eyes looked directly into mine.

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

I didn't answer.

"Do you have condom? lube?"

I shaked my head, still looking at him. He probably could see in my eyes that I wanted him real bad.

"Guess we'll have to do it the old fashion way..." He then went down on me again, lifted my both legs and inserted his tongue into my asshole. He rimmed me for a while.  He wetted his finger with his own pre-cum and put it into my hole, as if to test if I was ready for the real thing.

After he rimmed me some more, he held his hard cock in his hand in front of my hole. "You're gonna feel it.." he said. Then he forced his cock head into my ass.

"Aww...." I couldn't help but it really hurt. I held on to his hips, asking him to pause.

"Shh... Just let it stay in there for a while.." hairy daddy said to me. His hands moved to my chest and played with my nipples.  I could feel his cock growing harder as it stretched my hole open. His cock was even bigger than I remembered.

Slowly he started to pinch my nipples. The pain excited me and my cock was leaking precum.  While I was feeling the pain on my nipples, hairy daddy, at the same time, little by little, pushed his cock inside of me. I had tears in my eyes when his cock finally went all the way in.

"That's it.. You did it, boy.." Then he started pounding me. First gently, then he went faster and more forceful. I wasn't sure if what I felt was pain or excitment, but I didn't want him to stop. The more I moaned, the faster he pounded my ass. The couch got pushed back a few inches from his actions.

"Can I come inside you, boy?" hairy daddy asked. His sweat dripping on my body.

"I want you to come inside me!" I begged.

Hairy daddy gave me a bright smile and pounded me even harder. A few minutes later, he closed his eyes, groaned through this teeth, his lips were shivering..  "ahh... yeah... " he yelled out and shot his hot cum in me.

With his cock still inside me, he collapsed on top of me.  His sweaty body covered mine, his armed wrapped around my head. I inhaled his manly body odor.  And I could feel that his cock was still throbbing in me.

When he caught his breath and got up from me, we felt something sticky on my abs. We realized that I was so excited that I had cum right before he lied top of me after he shot his load.  I didn't even need to stroke my cock or touch it..  I was that high!

"That's quite a load there.." Hairy daddy said to me with a smirk. He proceeded to lick and ate my cum off my abs.  Then, for the first time, he kissed me, with his mouth full of my own cum.

"Can we do this again?" Hairy daddy said to me after he put on his clothes and was ready to head to the door.

"You know where I live." I gave him a light kiss on his mouth.

Next Door Hairy Daddy

Early this morning on my way for my jog, I walked up the avenue and noticed a neighbor standing in front of the opened car door, with one foot and his head in the car, looking for something. He was wearing a thin robe and clearly wan't wearing underpants. He has hairy legs and nice shape butt. I couldn't help myself but trying to take a few more looks without being noticed.

"Morning." he said with a smile when he noticed me walking by. A briefcase full of documents in his left hand.

I smiled and said "morning" back. He walked towards to his front door and I kept on walking.

When I looked back at his house's direction after a few steps, I realized that he was still standing in front of his door looking at me. Somehow embarassed, I waved at him as if to say Good-bye, and quickly continue to walk away. I thought I caught him smiled when I waved at him.

We have been neighbors ever since when I moved here. But we are the type of neighbors that we don't know each other's name or what they do. We only greet each other with a few words when we meet on the street.

He is about 50 something and I've always liked his look specially when he has his five-o'clock shadow. He could have a full beard if he wants to. He lives there with his wife and kids. And because of that, I never really had any other thoughts about him. But his smile this morning seemed to suggest something..

"Stop fantasizing!" I told myself and started jogging.

Half an hour later, I walked pass by his door again on my way home. He opened his door and said hi to me. He must had been waiting for me to come back from my jog.

"I know you live down the street but we never really chatted." he walked towards me and said, extending his right hand.

Didn't know what to say, I shook his hand, sweating, not sure if it was from the jog or the nerve. He was still in his robe and I was in my jogging shorts. Looking at his unshaved face, I felt my cock started to grow and I tried everything I could to suppress that.

"You wanna come in for some water? You look like you need some!" he seemed to notice my slowly bulging shorts. Then he put his right hand on my shoulder, guiding me to the inside of his house.

His robe came loose the moment he shut the door behind me, his semi-hard cock was peaking through the robe, dripping pre-cum.  Without a second though, I knelt down in front of him and put his cock in my mouth. When I mouth closed arround his cock, he let out a moan.

"This is even better than what I had imagine.." he let the robe drop on the floor, his head leaned back a little, clearly enjoying my sucking his cock. And I looked at his hairy abs, my hands were grabbing and touching his butt and chest constantly. His lightly tanned body is covered with nice furry hair except his back. All I could think of was to caress all over him.

His cock became real hard and it was gagging me. I wanted to please him so I kept swallowing it.

"Let me suck you, too." he said, touching my wet hair with his hands.

Awared that I wouldn't smell nice after the jog, I shook my head slightly and told him, "Let's just take care of you today.."

He seemed to understand me and gave me a smile. He closed his eyes and enjoyed my exploring tongue all over his cock. I sucked on the head of his cock, wanting to drain his flowing pre-cum. My right hand caressed his hairy butt. When my fingers got cloes to his hole, his cock stiffen even more.

"You're gonna make me cum like that?" he said between groans.

I licked his balls and the spot between his balls and hole a few times, with my finger gently forcing into his hole.

He moaned and groaned and I had the feeling he was close to shoot. I immediately put his cock back in my mouth, swallowed it as deep as I could. My finger went in a little further inside his warm hole. Each time I did that, he would tighten his buttlock as a reflex and moaned louder. I held his hairy butt with my two hands and pulled closer to my face, bringing his cock into my throat the deepest I could take. He was all sweaty too by now and I loved the smell of his manly sweat.

"Ugh... I'm gonna cum.."

I haven't had a chance to decide if I want him to cum in my mouth, his hot sperm shot deep down my throat. It tasted sweet, so I simply kept on sucking untill I had every drop of this hairy daddy's cum in me. He was shaking from excitment; sweat dripped down along his hairy body.

I left his cock in my mouth while his tried to catch his breath. I wanted to taste him as long as I could. I wanted to remember his sweet load, his body odor.

"What about you?" finally he was able to talk, with a somewhat silly smile.

"Don't worry. I've got my protein." I replied and smirked.

Just the moment I closed his door behind me, I realized that I still don't know his name. But I'm sure I will see him aound.

Too many fuckers, too few opportunities..

Met the ex-NYPD briefly yesterday.  He called my name when I was walking down the street.  I didn't expect to see him at that moment so it took me by surprise.  He was wearing sunglasses the whole time when we were chatting.  I wish he would have taken off the sunglasses because you usually can tell if a person is honest or not by looking straight to the eyes.  As I mentioned before, he has goatee.  I liked what I saw and he is well built - a little taller than I am, which I like.  I could sense he liked me as well.  It might be my imagination but I thought I saw his crotch moved. He repeatedly told me his schedule is flexible and now the ball is in my hands.  Sure I wish I could have his balls in my hand!  I would squeeze them tightly while my mouth work on his stiff cock.

So we'll stay in touch. He made it clear that it's my call.

Yesterday I also got to exchanged a few email with a married man who actually lives just two villages away from me.  We've seen each other's pictures and are just waiting for a mutually convenient time to meet.

He sent me one pic yesterday, which made me wish I could have him over right away.  He also has goatee and, to my eyes, very kissable lips.  He wrote in his message:

discreet, hairy and craving a nice ass to sink into - 40s 5/11 190 and 7c - love to tongue-fuck first - and deep man-to-man kissing gets me harder and hotter.

Man-to-man kiss!! That's exactly what I'm craving for!  I want my tongue exploring his mouth, taste his man's saliva and suck on his tongue till we both almost out of breath.  And of course, there will be so much more I'd like do do with him, or want him to do to me - like tongue fuck my hole till it's wet and ready for his cock to penetrate me..

So this is another one waiting for me to give him a green light to come over..

And, the accountant daddy who calls my cum super sweet? He also contacted me a few days ago, asking me when he can drain my cock again.  This accountant is also married.  He has a big fat cock that I couldn't even put it all the way in my mouth the only time when I tried to blow him.  I usually don't suck anybody unless that guy really turns me on and I feel I can trust him.  I'm not sure if I want to suck him again, but I somehow lust for his hot cum on my face.  My mother is currently staying with me but I told him in an email today that if he dares, he can come over and do me tomorrow morning.  He replied:

if i dare?  you want that ccok sucked that badly...its your mom...what u think would happen if she caught u with sperm on ur face.....ur calll   ill do it ....where u get so brave all of sudden all this time ...i could been drinking ur load.

ok that kind of exciting see what we can do...u mean i can drive you out your mind , suck ur cock dry till every drop sperm shoots down my throat, and then shoot a thick load of whit cream on ur face and u cant moan...........hmmmmmmmmmm  i cant tatse it now

Would I dare? We'll find out tomorrow..

For the first time

Today, I swallowed V's cum.

Infatuation?

Why can't I stop thinking about V? Haven't I convinced myself that it was only lust? The kisses we shared keep being replayed in my mind..

What exactly am I looking for? I'm in a long term relationship with a man I deeply love. V has his wife and kids. Neither one of us will ever give up what we have, so what am I hoping for? An affair in the darkness?

I kept V's only picture that he ever emailed me, the one that he sent me when he replied my craigslist ad. I looked at it once again just before I started this entry. How I am missing him and wishing that I will see him again soon. I don't want to give him pressure. On the other hand, I can't meet with him because my partner is home almost everyday now. So, once again, what am I doing?? This is clearly not going to be easy even if we just want to fool around once in a while.

Does V think of me? Does he think of me often? I have no way to find out. Even though he has said so in an email..

He said it will require effort, like anything in life worth something. I realize that. And I am willing to wait for him.

Waiting for V

It's been two weeks since reconnected with V and yet I haven't seen him once. He said he was busy with family illness and mother in law. And now the holiday season is near, I wonder if we would ever meet this year, or ever again.

Slowly, my patience for V is running low. After the chat with W, I realized that it IS totally lust what I feel about V. Besides being busy, V is probably scared to go further with me. I was the one who told him that it is better not to start anything. "Because once you start, it would be difficult to stop."

But now I seem to be the one who is infatuated with him. The kiss we shared was intense and I know that he felt it too. Since we kissed, I have been fantasizing about him almost every time when I have sex with my partner. In my fantasy, I kiss and lick every inch of his body, light bite his nipples and inhale his masculine body odor through his chest hair. I even fantasize spreading his hairy ass cheeks and rim his hole.. This is totally new to me; I have never, ever, wanted to rim anybody in my own free will!

I dream about sucking, tasting his cock, gagging it in my mouth and feeling his warm cum shooting down my throat..

Will it ever happen? I can only wish..

In too deep

Ever since we kissed, there's not one single day that I didn't think about V. I admit that V is not the only one that I ever met behind my partner.  But no one has ever made me feel this way. "It's better if you never start," I said him. "Once your start, it will be very difficult to quit." Look who is in it too deep now?

I still can hear him moans when I slip my both hands in his black jeans, grabbing his ass and reaching between the cheeks..

V

V is a married Italian with 2 children. We met last year online but we only chatted and nothing happened. I told him if he needs a friendly hug, he can always come to me.

One year went by without really being in touch, I send him a short email wishing him Happy Birthday. He replied the next day and seemed really glad that I wrote him. A few short messages exchanged and we remained distanced because of his being married and my being in a LTR. He stopped by twice and we just talked. I tried to talk him out of having any sexual relationships with anyone specially if he cares about his wife and family. He agreed with what I said and I gave him a kiss on his cheek before he prepared to leave. In the hallway, I gave him a hug and another kiss. He held me tight and I could feel his breathing on my neck. Our bodies touched, rubbed each other and he step out of the door before we couldn't stop.

I know he wants it and I think he sensed that I want it, too.

A few weeks later, he asked if he could stop by for a chat. My partner was in the city so I said, sure!

At first we just talked about the news on TV and nothing serious. He then suddenly changed position, laying his head on my stomach with his strong arm casually rest between by legs. I tried my hardest not to get excited. Some more small talk, he took the remote and switch the channel to a radio station. He told me he likes that station. He then got up facing me and proceed to hold me in his arms. I, in return, held him tightly in mine and I heard him moan a bit. He inhaled my scent and I inhaled his. I held his face with my two hands and kissed him on his mouth. I then touched his lips with my tongue but didn't let me in. I knew he wasn't sure what to do. I kissed him again and he reluctantly opened his mouth and let my tongue explore. I tasted him and I loved it..

Nothing happened. But I realized that something has changed. I can't stop thinking about him. The deep kisses, his breath, his tastes, keep replaying in my head..

I wanted to tell him that, besides my partner, I have never kissed anyone like that. I don't even let anybody kiss me on my mouth. V is different. I yearn to see him again..